I have recently been asked by a friend of mine if I have ever had an existential crisis. I say of course I have, of course we all have had at least one throughout our lives. But what is the point of having an existential crisis when you are passing by hard times, caused by some sad events you’ve been issuing? Why do you have to question about the turn of things when desperate and in need, not when everything’s alright and you actually have the full control of your nervs. Doesn’t it show how weak and narrow-minded you could be?
When everything works out just the way you want, you never let yourself ask questions about the « why? », because when self-contented, you don’t need to complicate things further more, or at least, you know hard times will come out soon, so you’d better take advantage of this exquisite moment you’ve been seeking the whole time; this what I’ve come to conclude.
Let me make myself clear. I am in full control of my brain now and I am asking : Why is it that I’m living? Why is it that others do? Is there a specific purpose to life? Is there some sort of end we’re all bound to figure out?
Take a minute and reflect. Has it ever occured to you to take it seriously enough? Hell yes!, but you’ve never really given it much attention. Oh right, remember? This is just due to your instant mood, no further complications! This is in no case your natural thinking process.
I have seen a man with no hope. Mere example; everytime we sat down for a chess game, he used to start it off with a : « Look, I know you’ll win, besides I’m not feeling right. » Now I don’t think that was about his physical nor moral estate at all. I say it has to do with his faith. No matter how little details like that seem to be irrelevant, I still think they are of great importance to one’s believes.
He failed his exams at age 17 and dropped out from school. No hope. He attempted to flirt with a girl and all he got was a slap in the face and a flagrant humiliation. No hope. These two trivial events led him to attempt suicide twice, to no avail. No hope. He’s been sent to a psychiatric aisle and spent most of his life blaming himself for not having done a single good/bad deed in his life, even marrying was not an exploit. Because he had no hope. No faith. Nada!
What is it? Some kind of perception of life that deprives you from seeing the positive aspect of it? Say you’re not an optimist, what else have you got left? I know that if it doesn’t work with feelings and insight, it works with logic, observation and deduction.
We were all born with some specific reason to live for; up to each one to figure it out on his own. It doesn’t necessarily mean to follow a religion (although i’m a strong pious), or the submission to someone’s will.
This reason is designed so you can subconsciously feel the satisfaction it brings to your ego and those around you. A reason that makes you stand in front of obstacles, makes you resist the pain you may endure, makes you accept the happiness and realize the contrast between the two phases: exultation vs depression. Not only this, but also a reason that makes you wonder everytime about the « how », « why », and « where to ».
We are bound to live for x-years, then what? When I look back to this old man I know, I see him approaching his 70s, still no track to leave behind. Will humanity ever remember him? How does it feel to live and die as if you just never came to life? It’s like adding and substracting the same same number from an initial one.
0+1-1=0. Life hosts and individual, the latter dies and everything goes back to where it started. Tell me: why even coming to life if it is pointless?
Take the same equation and suppose the individual leaves a track behind (x).
0+1+x-1=0+x. Life hosts an individual, the latter gives essence to some invention of his own design (let the invention be relevant to any field: science, litterature,..), then he dies. What remains? x, our Goddam invention, which is originally the reason why this individual existed.
Now the nature of this reason is subject to controversy, but I say even if it has to do only with reproduction (to the worst), just do it!